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Three Almost-requirements for Political Office in The United States of America

I thought it would beneficial if I share with you three almost-requirements for being elected to political office in the United States of America. So if you’re thinking about running for the House, Senate or Presidency, this is definitely for you.

The First Almost-requirements for Political Office:

It is important that I feel and think you would be a good guy to have a beer with. Okay, maybe you are responsible for housing or transportation, or maybe you’ve got you index finger on the nuke button, but will I feel comfortable having a beer with you? It’s important to me that there is absolutely nothing special about you. I mean, Dubya was a disaster as a president, but I understand he’s a great guy to have a beer with.

This almost-requirement for higher office would seem to disadvantage female candidates, but hey, I’ve had plenty of good drinking sessions with women. If you are a woman running for political office, just talk to me about sports, swear a lot, and, if you’re a Republican, for sure tell me when you plan to send ground troops into Syria, Iran and North Korea. Oh, and perhaps give me a heads up on your contingency plans for nuking Moscow and Beijing.

The Second Almost-requirements for Political Office:

It’s vitally important that you are a God fearing family loving Christian. When I was a small boy that meant you had to be a God fearing family loving Protestant Christian. I remember when John F. Kennedy ran for president. I’m assuming all Republicans and a hell of a lot of Democrats thought if he were elected to our highest office the Pope would follow is Swiss Guard into the White House. As it turned out, Kennedy did get elected and we all discovered that you could also be a God fearing family loving Roman Catholic Christian and hold high office in these United States.

More recently Al Gore chose Joe Lieberman to be his running mate. Besides being a very conservative Democrat, Lieberman was also Jewish. Given that Gore actually won the election, but was not favored by the Supreme Court, let’s nonetheless assume that somewhere around 50% of Americans could at least live with the idea that a God fearing family loving Jew could be president. It’s a great country.

Unfortunately, no matter how God fearing and family loving a Muslim may be, he or she is not yet welcome to sit in the top seat. Republican candidate for president Ben Carson has said that the presidency is not for a Muslim: “I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. I absolutely would not agree with that.” Interestingly, Carson is a Seventh Day Adventist, which I presume means that for Carson and his followers, a God fearing family loving Mormon can hold high office.

Carson is a retired neurosurgeon. He said this one day: “I believe that making a difference starts with understanding our amazing founding document, the U.S. constitution. And as someone who had performed brain surgery thousands of time, I can assure you that the constitution isn’t brain surgery.” Well, he should know.

I’m in no doubt, therefore, the Carson has read Article VI of the United States Constitution and the first amendment to that same constitution. Article VI states in part:

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the members of the several state legislatures, and all executive and judicial officers, both of the United States and of the several states, shall be bound by the oath or affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religions test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States. (Italics my emphasis).

So nothing there about God fearing family loving Protestants, Roman Catholics, Jews and Muslims.

The First Amendment to the United States says in part:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religions, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…

Nothing there either, but it does seem Dr. Carson would find it difficult to legislate for the exclusion of Muslims to the presidency, that is of course, if the Congress were abiding by the Constitution.

Dr. Carson did say that as far as he is concerned President Obama is a God fearing family loving Christian and not a Muslim. Unfortunately, a still high percentage of Republicans believe Mr. Obama is indeed a Muslim born in a foreign land. Apparently 43% of Republicans believe he is a Muslim, 39% that he is a Protestant or some other kind of Christian, 14% just don’t know, 2% that he is a Mormon, and 1% that he is a Jew. Republicans are a faithful people and this goes to prove that belief trumps reality more times than not.

The Third Almost-requirements for Political Office:

Finally, it is important that you don’t actually have much or any experience in politics. Many candidates absolutely brag that they are not part of the Washington elite, that  they live outside of the Washington bubble and I love it. Politics is one of the few professions where experience in the field seems to be a disadvantage. Image this:

I’ve never had any training or experience in dentistry, but I’ve just opened my own dental office, so come on in.

I have no education, training or experience is law, but I’ve just hung out my shingle so I’m waiting for your business.

I have no experience as a plumber and have never even picked up a wrench, but I really want to be your plumber. Give me a call.

Hi, I have no experience as a politician and absolutely hate the government so I want you to put me in charge of the most expensive and deadliest military planet earth has ever seen. Vote for me.

That’s right. To win high office it might help if you tell me you hate the job and you hate the government. I remember the Republican Party’s Contract with America announced to a needy nation in 1994. Since Republicans hated politics and the government so much, they introduced term limits, which they honored until they reached their own term limits.

It’s interesting to hate the government of the people, for the people and by the people and at the same time ask for my vote. Not sure what that says about your attitude toward “the people”, and towards me of course. But hey, never mind. Politics. Go figure. Let’s have another beer and raise a glass to Jesus.

So there you have it. No need to thank me. Just follow these three almost-requirements to higher office and you too can serve the people in the United States of America.

Copyright © 2015 Dale Rominger

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